Posted: October 10, 2012 at 9:20 am
Nicole Scherzinger, the former Pussycat Doll revealed she became so obsessed with her weight and she hated herself so as early as 2003, that sticking her finger down her throat and harming herself became an addiction for her.
“I’ve never spoke about it. It’s embarrassing… I did it every day for, like, years,” she told VH1′s Behind The Music. “I hated myself. I really was so disgusted with myself.
“I guess it was like my addiction, right?,” she added. “I never did drugs, but kinda doing things to myself was my addiction. It’s like when I got off stage, I was on this high, and I’d come back to my room and I’d be alone, so I would just do things. My bulimia was my addiction; hurting myself was my addiction.”
Scherzinger tried to hide it like most people that suffer from the addiction but her bandmates knew what she was doing.
“You get, like, blisters on your hands or scars on your hands, and I’d try to hide those. I think the girls could tell.”
“I felt so alone; I was in a group and I never felt so alone in my life.”
The 34-year-old songbird gives credit to Nascar driver, Lewis Hamilton, who she had been dating on and off since 2008, for helping her overcome her battle with the disease.
“He gave me the courage to kind of end that disorder and that disease. He made me feel beautiful for who I am and not what pant size I’m wearing and that helped a lot.” ”A little light came on in the back of my head and that’s when I started to try and turn this around. I said, ‘Wow, I’ve got to learn how to accept myself and my body.’ I started to embrace myself as a woman and my curves.”
Not only that, she also revealed that she was responsible for singing 95% of the vocals and the Pussycat Dolls albums. She even went as far as saying one of the albums was pretty much done before the rest of the girls even came into the studio to hear it.