My course of study in college deals with people like Chris Brown. Victims of child abuse often have rage issues as adults. They were not protected by the people they should have been protected by as children and suffered abuse at the hands of their biological and external caregivers instead. Women in these situations risk the mental and physical health of their child because they have self esteem issues and their need for the love of a man outweighs their responsibility to their children.
It goes without saying that women with low self esteem often attract abusive men. The only way these women can mentally deal with a situation where their child is being abused is to ignore it and/or develop a “Pollyanna” perspective so that they can have their cake and eat it too. They often imagine everything is “fine” but they make the child the “sacrificial lamb” because they think they are being loved and they don’t want to risk losing it. Women like this often have “Daddy Issues.”
The male abuser in these cases often has his own rage, many times from his own abusive or neglected childhood. The abuse could have been physical, sexual, mental or emotional or a combination of these things. He transfers his rage over to another child, usually not his own, as a way of seeking his own “retribution” since his abuse was also never resolved. His rage is channeled by a feeling that ‘someone has to pay for the way I was treated.’ Chris’ stepfather abused him and his mother neglected him because she didn’t protect him from it or bring external help in to stop it. In addition, Black women are very aware of how black men feel and have been affected by our legal system for decades and they fear involving male family members who may unjustly be charged. Many black men will go ballistic on a man abusing his sister and/or her child or his biological child (in some cases). The fact that many black men are not involved in their children’s lives adds even ANOTHER negative element into the fold (long explanation). This abuse could be going on without them even knowing it.
Blacks are not fond of psychotherapy because there are not many Blacks who are in the field or who advertise their services. Those that are are in the field are often percieved as “not connected” to the true Black experience (which is why it is my field of study) and they are correct. The only people who are qualified to help them are people who understand and know them. In light of all these circumstances… the child victim becomes an adult and everyone’s in denial about the abuse in order to maintain their own level of sanity which makes the situation worse because… the abuse continues. The victim continues to be deemed “unimportant” because nobody wants to deal with the situation.
Add major success into the fold for the victim and the problem is exacerbated because the outside world treats you like a star and your family has abused you. Someone has not taken responsibility for what happened to Chris and he’s pissed off because of it. ANYONE would have anger and rage issues who grew up in a situation like this. He needs to be counseled by someone who is familiar with the black experience and who can direct him in ways of dealing with his state of mind. He is not the only one that needs help, his family needs help too and they need to come clean about their wrongdoing which will greatly help in the healing process.
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