I was wondering why in the hell people were not emailing me and going on my FaceBook page to discuss the interview Tom Joyner did with Steve Harvey’s ex wife Mary Shackelford yesterday. I have to be honest, I just can’t listen to that show. I don’t have a problem with the many others that do listen I just can’t do it.
After a VERY full day I FINALLY got to listen to the interview on Black America Web. Let me just say this…. I was so anticipating the interview and I pumped it up with such joy and glee because I was thinking perhaps just perhaps urban radio IS still alive.. Could it be? Tom interviewing Steve’s ex wife.. BRILLIANT I surmised. I even sent out a blast to the industry to alert them that urban radio may finally be off life support and breathing on its own.
I finally heard the “interview.” As a journalist for MANY years. I have seen some of the best and some of the worst interviews you can ever imagine. Since I’m cut from a different cloth and tell the truth, I have been feared when dealing with interviews because the subjects didn’t know what to expect but I have had very few problems or complaints and I try to be cognisant when other people are involved as opposed to doing free-for-all editorials like this one.
Allow me to say, this was the first time I have listened to Tom’s show in at least two years. With all due respect to Tom’s industry legacy, the interview with Mary Shackelford was a disappointment, to say the least. It all started off GREAT with the marketing of the show and perhaps I set myself up and need to take responsibility for thinking Tom would have handled it like, sh…, I don’t know… Howard Stern would have. Even the less experienced Rickey Smiley would have done a better job by at least making it entertaining.
Mary is still quite convincing and she drove some very important points home in the video/audio interview. She feels that she has been abused and mistreated in a relationship by someone who is being celebrated as a relationship expert. She’s in poor health and stressed out. She claims from BEING quiet about her feelings. Her son is no longer with her and she is struggling. She is crying if not screaming for help but Tom suggests that, with all this in mind, she stop talking about her problems in public? So if a man comes up to me and says… “Kevin, I’m going to commit suicide today.” I guess it’s OK to tell him… “Look, can you keep that sh… to yourself? The black community doesn’t need to hear that sh…?”
To add insult to injury.. it is beyond evident that the other women in the room could sympathize with Mary but they fell silent as if not to interrupt Tom per his post interview instructions. Sure you don’t want EVERYONE talking at once but at least give ONE of the women a chance to talk. Even if they had refuted her side and a debate got rolling it would have made it more interesting than it was with just Tom asking those boring ass questions. THIS could have been… great radio folks. An opportunity LOST.
This interview was SO bad, I just want to forget about it too. I dare ANY black program director to say it was a great or even a “good” interview in all sincerity. Tom had a great opportunity and he totally dropped the ball and my final hopes for creative urban radio have all but died. Is this the BEST that we can do in urban radio? Can he arrange a meeting with Mary and Steve? Steve has every right to be pissed at Tom right now, as Tom suggested he might be. Tom used the opportunity to get Mary on the show to garner interest and ratings then the best angle that he could use was “concern” for the black community and the negative impact in seeing and hearing all of this?
(Soapbox time) Where in the hell do we get the notion that we as black people are supposed to suffer in silence? This is the kind of sh… that disgusts me. Black people have/are suffering from Abuse, Addiction, Incarceration, HIV and AIDS, Diabetes, High Blood Pressure, Mental Illness, Unemployment, Discrimination, Poverty, Breast and Colon Cancer, Rape, Molestation, No Health Insurance and on and on and on and this is WHY they hide in a corner. It’s “bad” for the community to air how you feel or what you are going through because nobody wants to see or hear that sh…? How many of us, for example, have handicapped black friends? I don’t want to go off too far on a tangent but they have all but been rendered non existent in the black community. When will we as a community realize the sh… that we harbor is what often CAUSES illness and disease? If someone has mistreated you why in the hell should you not be allowed to express yourself about the situation instead of drowning it out with a jug of Vodka? People in the black community who have been hurt should be heard be it in the black church, the mountaintop or the Tom Joyner Morning Show? I mean she was invited on as a guest right? (Done with the Soapbox)
I am even closer to losing all hope for urban radio. In the meantime…here is a short list of questions that Tom COULD have asked to make the interview, at best, INTERESTING…
Mary, why are you coming forward now?
How did you respond when you learned both of Steve’s books were best sellers?
What have you been doing to survive for the last 6 years?
What kind of conversations have you and Steve had since the divorce?
Have you talked to his new wife Marjorie about the situation?
Is she actually suing you?
How did you initially meet her?
How do you think Steve feels about you appearing on this show?
What is the story on the Oprah show Steve didn’t get?
How many emails did you discover Marjorie had written?
Where they all of a pornographic nature?
Is it true that Winton discovered those emails on Steve’s computer and told you to come and look?
Is it true that you went ballistic and destroyed the room when you found the letters?
How did Steve respond when you confronted him?
What has the response from women been to you since the videos came out
Do you want your son back or has too much time passed?
Have you wondered why all the women sitting around the table during this interview, even though they may agree with you, have said next to nothing? (OK, I threw this in but it’s a good question)
How did you meet Steve
Tell us about the early years
When it all fell apart… how did it make you feel? ( For future reference Tom, this is how you get raw emotion, she probably would have started crying)
Has speaking out empowered you?
Why does it seem you never smiled in your pictures. What was on your mind?
What’s next for Mary Shackelford? etc etc
These are ALL questions off the top of my head. Tom’s questions were more like “Can I get you and Steve together in a room to talk.” “Are you coming on the cruise?” Like he couldn’t ask her that on the phone withOUT 8 million people listening. Mary tried to have a sense of humor but you can tell she’s not well. This is an unfortunate situation even more so after this interview. If Steve is pissed at Tom, Tom could have at least made it worth his while and asked real questions.
I’m done with this sh…. I don’t know when the next time will be that we get another great urban radio situation like this again but I truly hope someone else handles it better (yawn).
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Kevin, I just stumbled to your article after searching for Mary Harvey and I am pleasantly surprised. I am a long time Tom Joyner listener who was equally disappointed by the interview. I had not seen the so-called youtube videos, but I saw the interviews on Black America Web including Girlfriend FM. Once I heard the interview live with Tom, I IMMEDIATELY sent TJMS a text message to express my dissatisfaction. She should not be discounted and swept under the rug. Her experiences are real and should be validated. I share many similarities with Mary so I am sympathetic to her situation. While I am not nor have I ever been an admirer of Steve Harvey, I would hope he’s not too big for a slice of humble pie.
what done in the dark will come out, i do not know the story i was not there, but God sees all, and if see felt like talking its good, also sometime after the ex they are push aside, if it never happen…steve harvey is a fake, using the church,also all of us need forgiveness if they are planning to see our maker……